The Lane Train

News and Pop Culture for the Blog Generation

Archive for June, 2008

Censorship is Homosexual

Posted by thelanetrain on June 30, 2008

It’s a given fact:  fundamental Christians and right wingers love censorship (they even have an institution of higher learning dedicated to it!).  But ever wonder what happens when censorship goes too far?  That’s exactly what happened when a conservative news outlet reported on sprinter Tyson Gay‘s almost-world recordbreaking sprint yesterday to make the U.S. Olympic Team.  Apparently, the site has this strange little filter that doesn’t like the “g” word in its reference to hedonism and sin, so when it reported the article, it looked like this:

Which makes me believe that this is the funniest/saddest thing to ever happen to censorship in a long, long time.  I should really find out now from my gay homosexual friends if “100 Final” is a euphemism for anything…

Also, in a related news item, actress Marcia Homosexual Harden will co-chair a benefit concert featuring Gloria Homosexualnor, Crystal Homosexualle, and a tribute to Marvin Homosexuale.  I can’t wait!

(Image and more info/links via Boing Boing)

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This Just In: Geraldo Rivera is Kind Of a Dick

Posted by thelanetrain on June 30, 2008

Ok ok, so we know that talkshow host-cum-“news reporter” Geraldo Rivera isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer and does some stupid things on TV, but today’s offense was a little uncalled for.  This past weekend, a young russian supermodel plummeted nine stories to her death in New York in what police are now calling an official suicide.  Of course, every media outlet wanted to have the best footage, but always being the envelope-pusher, Geraldo took his coverage too far by showing her bloodied corpse on national television.  And just to make sure the blind could also share in the TMI coverage, Geraldo described the footage by saying:

“These are the last images of her broken body being lifted off the Manhattan sidewalk, where shocked and sickened witnesses watched her smash onto the concrete.”

Fox News immediately apologized for the airing of the footage, but not before The Huffington Post could skewer the network and its knucklehead host:

“A sustained shot of Korshunova’s face, her face pale in death, clearly visible in profile with what appears to be blood at the side of her mouth — that adds nothing to the story other than a horrific, shocking image to gawk at.”

Agreed.  Can someone please do us all a favor and boot this nutjob off the air for good?  Him and his foul mustache have no place on our prized conservative-slanted, anti-fist jab, crude sexual innuendo-filled network.

(Photograph via Dirt Squirrels)

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Britney Spears: Then and Now

Posted by thelanetrain on June 30, 2008

This has nothing to do with current news, but we found an image of singer (?) Britney Spears today on Gawker that really made me think about how much she has changed over the last decade or so.  Your comments are much appreciated.

So here’s what she looked like back in 1999 (image via media.canada.com):

And this is her from last night (the picture I found on gawker):

WHOA!  WTF??  Did she age about 30 years in the course of a decade?  What the hell happened to her?  Good god get a grip lady!

On the bright side, MTV might want her to open the VMAs againFuck….

UPDATE 12:42 PM: Did anyone else also notice that in the first picture, she is wearing a jesus necklace, which is clearly absent in the recent photo?  I think I now know what will get Brit back on the fast track to normalcy…

Posted in Music, Pop Culture | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Amy Winehouse Punches Fan, Rags on Kanye

Posted by thelanetrain on June 30, 2008

Just when we started to feel sorry for Amy Winehouse, she does something stupid…again.  This time, it was while she was performing at England’s Glastonbury Festival (that’s like their equivalent of Lollapalooza or something…).  As MTV (they are so on the ball today) reports, Winehouse reportedly punched a fan in the front row while performing “Rehab”, then quickly retreated back to the stage while she stared the unlucky fellow down.  Moments later, she screamed to the crowd:

“At least I’m not opening for a c–t like Kanye.”

Oh noes!  We’s about to have ourselves a turf war!

Of course Kanye West found out about this and immediately blogged about it, and of course was a little too generous in the exclamation point department.  You know what else is hilarious?  Kanye gets his news from Perez Hilton.  No wonder he’s so adamant about defending his heterosexuality…

(Photograph via MTV)

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It’s Official: Arrested Development The Movie Set to be Released in 2009

Posted by thelanetrain on June 30, 2008

There have been rumors swirling throughout the entertainment industry about whether or not Mitchell Hurwitz would bring his brilliant (and short-lived) sitcom Arrested Development to the big screen.  Well, its official.  I even joined the facebook group last night.  While promoting his latest film Hancock, Arrested Development star Jason Bateman confirmed the rumors of the to-be film, especially noting the plight in store for the Bluth family.  As MTV reported, Bateman and the other castmates are excited to make the film and add onto the already ridiculous story of George Bluth and his extended family, but cites a solid budget as the main delay for a speedy production.  Because the film would no doubt be targeted to such a narrow audience, “We can’t spend the money for this that we spent on Hancock,” Bateman says.

Well, whatever.  As long as there are plenty of inside jokes, I don’t really care.  And if you’re really hurting for money, just remember, there’s always money in the banana stand.

Oh, and New York Magazine published this great list of Arrested Development jokes they want in the movie.  Mitchell Hurwitz, take note.

(Image via keegan3d.com)

Posted in Movies, Pop Culture, Television | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Cute Robots Trump Guns and Bloodshed at Weekend Box Office

Posted by thelanetrain on June 30, 2008

As expected, Disney’s Wall-E was the number one movie this weekend at the box office, grossing over $62 million in its opening weekend.  However, the high-powered action flick Wanted was close behind in second, and grossed just over $51 million.  As for other films?  Get Smart was number three, grossing $20 million this weekend, with Kung Fu Panda and The Incredible Hulk at the number four and five spots, respectively.

After The Jump: The top ten movies this past weekend

Read the rest of this entry »

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High School Musical…En Español!

Posted by thelanetrain on June 30, 2008

Gawker reported today that the Mexican outlet of The Disney Channel will be releasing its own original version of the teen juggernaut High School Musical.  Sorry teeny boppers, no Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, or Ashley Tisdale, but there will be plenty of singing, dancing, and las chicas latinas!

Below is the official trailer, courtesy of YouTube.

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Week in Review: June 23-27

Posted by thelanetrain on June 27, 2008

It’s been a crazy third week of the blog, and we had more traffic than ever before!  We now have over 100 posts and our viewership has reached over 11,000 total page views!  And we somehow still managed to bring to your workplace or home the craziest stories and zaniest commentary we could possibly provide.  Here are some of this week’s highlights in case you missed them:

We’ll be away from our computers this weekend enjoying the awesome weekend weather, so don’t expect any new posts until Monday.  Happy weekend everyone!

Posted in Pop Culture, Week In Review | Tagged: | 2 Comments »

Friday Night Guidettes

Posted by thelanetrain on June 27, 2008

Fun fact:  This is actually our 100th post, and what better way to celebrate than to call some of our favorite families and have their rich, spoiled daughters come pout for us.  Last week’s response wasn’t as huge as the first week, so we’re still trying to see if this works as a weekly feature, but regardless, we hope you at least laugh a little when you look at the picture.  So without further ado, presenting Week Three of Friday Night Guidettes!

Week 3

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Now We’ve Seen Everything…

Posted by thelanetrain on June 27, 2008

Reality TV Logo

This is not a joke.  An article on Gawker today reports that for a small fee, you (yes you) can sign up for a one-time workshop or series of classes taught by an actor that will show you all the tricks of the trade so that you can appear on a reality TV show…all starting at $139.  “Alumni” have gone on to such great shows like The Groomer and The Moment of Truth, and have really stepped up their game and resumes.  Awesome, so for a small chunk of my rent money I can learn to cut dog hair or confess my deep dark secrets to my closest friends and family plus a viewing audience of millions.  Why wouldn’t we do this?

P.S.  If someone out there has done this or wants to do this, then we want to hear from you.  The next one-day intensive is July 8th.  Somebody do this for us!

(Image via The New York Reality TV School *Giggle*)

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