President Barack Obama

Well, it happened.  In the race between a young Illinois senator and his foot-in-mouth running mate versus the old man and the hot lady, Barack Obama pulled out a landslide victory to win the 2008 Presidential Election and become the President-elect, setting him up to be our great nation’s 44th president.  All this while breaking racial barriers and becoming our nation’s first Black president in the country’s more than 230 year-old history.

The election of Senator Obama is not just a cultural milestone.  It represents the voice of a people, tired of fighting a neverending war in the Middle East, tired of conservative politics and fear-driven tactics, and tired of the Bush presidency and party.  We have certainly heard over and over again in his speeches that Mr. Obama wants to bring change to Washington and America, and that he hopes to restore our nation’s good name to the rest of the world.  I don’t know how much of his word he can live up to, but I certainly hope that Obama can deliver.

In his victory speech last night in Chicago’s Grant Park, standing with the people, he urged Americans that he needed their support, not only from those who already support him, but from those who didn’t vote for him.  American needs to unify, to come together, and Obama called to end the division of “red states” and “blue states”.  It was certainly a stirring moment, and thankfully, the election was decided by the end of the evening.

Click here to see an electoral map to see exactly how Obama soundly defeated McCain.  He even got a bunch of swing states to go his way.

CONGRATULATIONS OBAMA!

GET OUT AND VOTE!

Today is Election Day.  I don’t really care who you want to vote for.  You can vote for the socialist terrorist with the horse-gaffer, or the dying old man with Ms. Wasilla, or you can waste your vote on a third party candidate, but please, for the love of our country and for the love of democracy, please vote.  Your participation in our government helps make America the greatest country of all.  So do yourself a favor and exercise your right to choose your next leader!

Gawker Totally Pwns Palin Family

If there was any doubt that the editors over at Gawker have an agenda in this political election, we clearly know who they’re rooting for (or rather, who they’re rooting against).  Aside from the daily headlines slamming McCain and the MILF, the NY-bassed Gossip and Media rag came out on the offensive against the Palin Clan, and in particular, their pleasantly pregnant daughter Bristol.  First, they reported that B-Pal (I love that name) smoked pot on camera while smiling (damn how I wish they had a funny video to go along with that) and was apparently dubbed “the makeout queen” of her hometown of Wasilla, Alaska.  Then, they later got a hold of Bristol’s private voicemail greeting (not so scandalous, but more like, how the hell did they get that?).

But the big story?  Somebody hacked into Sarah Palin’s personal Yahoo account and exposed all of her private emails.  Awesome.  Vultures need not be interested though, as the post contains mostly benign email messages, and silly pictures of family members being all goofy with Trig, the Downs Syndrome Baby.  Although the government did react violently and call the leak a huge breach of privacy, which I guess it is.  But you know what else is a huge breach of privacy?  This thing (which a lot of GOP members support, like this guy).  I mean, as long as she has nothing to hide, what does it matter.  She’s not a terrorist, right?  Right?

For all those still wondering, they changed her password like totes ASAP so nobody could read her private emails anymore.  I don’t know about you, but I’d be lookin’ out for her, Dubya.  She’s suspicious…

O Hai, Did Ur Money Die Today?

 

So unless you’ve been living under a rock, a member of some Mideast Oligarchy, or part of the production staff of SNL, then you probably already know that today might has well been called “Clusterfuck Monday”.  It started off this weekend as Lehman Brothers, one of the world’s leading investment banks and repository of six-figure earning white collar douchebags, failed to find a sucker peer institution to save it from total collapse and instead filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, Bank of America bought Merrill Lynch for a mere $50 billion, and essentially turned precious, precious Lynch stock into worthless sheets of paper.  Even worse, this all comes off the news that Washington Mutual’s stock fell below $2 per share at the end of last week and is seeking a $4.5 billion loan for its reserves, and AIG is scrambling to restructure itself after its stock value was more than halved on Friday. So there’s no way this can get any worse.

Yes it can.

So how much damage was inflicted on the markets today?  The closing bell hasn’t rung yet, but so far, things are shitty.  The Dow dropped over 400 points and already both candidates are pointing fingers.  It’s an all out panic as investors are in a tizzy and volumes of precious stock and mutual funds are slowly turning into worthless piles of financial jargon.

On the flipside, at least the Coen Brothers are happy…

So Much for Family Values

Sarah Palin, the former Alaskan beauty pageant, local politician, and ladyperson that John McCain asked to be his potential VP, is now at the center of a family values hypocrisy.  Srsly.  It turns out that one of her five glorious children is preggers with a child OUT OF WEDLOCK and is only 17, which would make Palin one young grandmama (following in the footsteps of the Spears clan).  But, the daughter has promised that not only is she going to keep her child (just like mom), but will marry the dude that knocked her up too.  Isn’t abstinence wonderful?

I can’t wait for some sort of awkward comment from the Bush camp about the latest gaffe in Republicans not being able to stick to their values.

Hurricane Gustav Creates Rain, Media Storm

Well it finally happened today.  That clusterfuck of a hurricane dubiously known as Gustav hit the Lousiana coastline this morning, and luckily, just west of New Orleans.  Taking a page from Katrina, the residents in the area seemed to be prepared.  The City of New Orleans was evacuated, levees were scrutinized and ready, and for the most part, while the damage is still underway, nothing too tragic has happened (yet).  Hell, even President Bush and FEMA are like, totally preparing with how to deal with this natural disaster and the potential aftermath!  Yee-haw!

But the greatest tragedy this hurricane is bringing is the massive media storm that comes along with it.  All the major networks PLUS all the cable news networks (MSNBC, CNBC, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business (WHATTTTTTTT??????)) are having nonstop weather coverage and tracking the storm millisecond by millisecond.  On my way out I caught a roundtable discussion on CNBC about how the storm will affect the price of crude oil (it’s dropping, beeteedubs), and whether or not economists are going to have a hard time predicting oil prices after the storm.  FUCK THAT SHIT.  We should be more concerned about people’s homes being wiped off the map!  Who gives a rats ass about an economists’s ability to predict oil when Mr. and Mrs. American Voter are gonna be decimated?

And speaking of gigantic storms that happen on September 1st…

So….Who is Sarah Palin?

 

As I reported earlier today, Republican hopeful John McCain picked Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate.  But aside from being female (read: the GOP is more than just a bunch of stodgy old conservative white guys) and a representative of one of America’s least populous states, who is this woman on the verge of becoming America’s second most powerful politician?  The Lane Train investigates the trials and tribulations of the Lady of the Last Frontier.

After The Jump:  Deconstructing Sarah Palin

Well, No Matter What Happens, We’ll Make History

Last week, Democratic hopeful Barack Obama picked Delware Senator Joe Biden, an aging white male (but he has foreign policy experience!) as his running mate.  So in a bold move that is sure to shake up the presidential race this fall, Republican hopeful John McCain picked Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to be on the GOP’s ticket.  According to ABC News, Palin has mutiple claims to fame as Alaska’s youngest governor, a reformer (whatever that means), and owner of the nickname “Sarah Barracuda”.  This is also the first time that the GOP has ever nominated a woman for the VP office.

And somewhere in the Rayburn office building, Hillary Clinton is slowly, slowly weeping…

Double Feature: Olympics and DNC Wrap-Up

Oh man, what a whirlwind few weeks it’s been.  The Beijing Olympics wrapped up this past Sunday and right after that, some crazy party got underway in Denver.  China won a slew of gold medals, had underage gymnasts, and was embarassed when it got caught for forging the opening ceremonies and when its star sprinter got injured and withdrew.  Then Barack Obama like, totally text messaged everyone that his VP was going to be the spokesman for Bosley Hair Club for Men.  All this led up to a loud, wild, screaming throng of Democrats who unanimously showed support for the junior Illinois senator to be their man in the contest for the Oval Office.  Ladies and Gentlemen, the race is on.  Meow.

After the Jump:  Final thoughts on the Olympics, plus thoughts on the DNC

Breaking News: She Still Ain’t Givin’ Up Yet, Folks

According to the L.A. Times, Hillary Clinton has submitted her name for nomination at the Democratic National Convention in Denver later this month.  Said candidate Barack Obama:

“I am convinced that honoring Sen. Clinton’s historic campaign in this way will help us celebrate this defining moment in our history and bring the party together in a strong, united fashion.”

After making said statement, Obama immediately called for double security and demanded that any known staffers of the Clinton campaign, including the ex-contender herself to be monitored at all times.  Lord knows we don’t want another one of these fiascoes happening.

Also, according to this week’s issue of Rolling Stone, the Clintonistas have already snapped up the internet domain Hillary2012.com.  I think we know who she’s voting for come November…