The Lane Train

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Archive for the ‘Music’ Category

Clay Aiken Successfully Distracts America From Dying Economy

Posted by thelanetrain on September 23, 2008

Well America, we finally found a way to take our minds off of the second great depression.  In what could be described as the biggest “No shit, sherlock” moment of the year, Clay Aiken, the androgynous bespectacled runner-up from the second season of American Idol is totally gay.  Who knew, right?  Did anyone really not see this coming?  Even after this shocker from waaaay back?  The story, which will be carried by People Magazine (above) has generated a resounding “finally!” from all of the webernets, including fellow gay Perez Hilton, who merely said:

“Welcome to the gayborhood, daddy!”

We’re so proud of you, Clay.  Now if only that other really famous gay celebrity will follow your lead…


Posted in Celebrities, Music, Pop Culture, The Media | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

TRL, Shoutouts to MAH GIRRRRL, SHANIQUA IN WEST PLAINFIELD!!! WOOOO!!!, to Cease in November

Posted by thelanetrain on September 16, 2008


No, it’s really true.  For reals yo.  As if today couldn’t get any worse, MTV announced that it would put TRL on hiatus on it’s tenth anniversary in November (producer Dave Sirulnick gives some sort of logical explanation to this, but like a facebook relationship, its complicated).  This makes me really sad, because I personally wanted to be among the throng of screaming high school kids making who shouted “wooooooo!” every time a camera passed by them.  But the show, which in all honesty was getting lackluster ratings and losing its popularity to other shows, needed to be put down like Old Yeller.  I think MTV got the message that nobody was watching TV after school anymore ever since sidekicks, texting, and crackblackberries started ruling the tween and teenage world.  Plus, if a pop act was going to make it big, a MySpace campaign or facebook group could do so much more than some two-bit TV appearance with this dude.

I just want to know: will we go all retro and see Carson Daly hosting with special guests Backstreet Boys and Eminem?  I hope so, yes.

Posted in Music, Pop Culture, Television, The Media | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Fuck You, Los Angeles Times

Posted by thelanetrain on September 15, 2008

Guess who’s having the biggest comeback of her career?  That’s right, this person is.  With the paparazzi no longer treating her like a piece of meat, her life in check, and after a stellar appearance at the VMAs, the pop princess will surely reclaim her spot on the A-list as a recording artist.  So why is the LA Times still calling her “troubled” and writing about her like she’s still boozing every night until 3?  No idea.  Hey editors of Soundboard:  you should really watch this.

Posted in Celebrities, Music, Pop Culture | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Celebrities are Poor Just Like You!

Posted by thelanetrain on August 30, 2008

Oh man, have you heard about how fucking high gas prices are these days?  Sure, they affect all you poor people out there who can’t drive a car anymore or have traded down their Hummer H2 to a Prius, but like, the mega rich celebrities don’t have to worry because they can totally afford everything right?  Wrong!

In a story reported on Yahoo today, famous person Sean “Diddy” Combs (what does he do nowadays?  Is he a rapper? producer? fashion designer? appearance maker?) complained that since gas prices are too high, he’ll have to, *sigh*, stop using private jet transport and fly on commercial airlines just like the rest of us.  Said Combs:

“I’m actually flying commercial…That’s how high gas prices are. I’m at the gate right now. This is really happening, proof gas prices are too high. Tell whoever the next president is we need to bring gas prices down.”

This is both hilarious and sad, sorta reminds me of the episode of South Park when the boys steal music online, and then the fed show them that thanks to their theft, the artists won’t be able to continue their extravagant lifestyles.  Someone should also tell Diddy that he can, like, choose the next president because he can vote, remember?

And boy, is he going to have a fit when he finds out you can’t get Dom Perignon on American Airlines!

Posted in Celebrities, Music, Odd News, Pop Culture, The Economy | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

VMAs Apparently a Big Deal This Year

Posted by thelanetrain on August 15, 2008

The VMAs are coming.  What?  Oh yeah, that show on MTV they rerun like six million times where they give out awards to people.  Remember last year when Britney “performed” Gimme More and danced around like an overweight sorority girl after having one too many at the frat house?  Apparently, this article shows how Britney (who is now on the verge of making a major comeback) got nominated for video of the year, along with teen pop sensation The Jonas Brothers.  Oh, and some other bands too.

But the article has really got me thinking.  They still make music videos?  Weird…

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Quote of the Day

Posted by thelanetrain on August 13, 2008

“That was special, but it was also strange because she’s (sister Jamie Lynn) always been the baby, and now the baby was having a baby. It was mind-boggling. I was shocked a little bit. But it was really cool.” – Britney Spears, on becoming an aunt.

Haha, the baby is having a baby.  So clutch Brit!

But seriously, it looks as if the tabloid queen slash popstar is on her way to making a huge comeback.  Britney recently gave an interview to OK! Magazine regarding her new drama-free ways and offered tidbits on her new album and hopes for her boys.  She says her new album will be released in the next 6-9 months and that she wants a normal life for Sean Preston and Jayden James.

In a related story, Spears was also rumored to have been chosen to play a killer lesbian stripper in an upcoming Quentin Tarantino movie, but those reports have been denied by her publicist.  Dammit…

Posted in Celebrities, Movies, Music, Pop Culture | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Gone, But Not Forgotten

Posted by thelanetrain on August 11, 2008

This weekend, the world of entertainment lost two very special figures.  Isaac Hayes (above) died yesterday unexpectedly as his wife found him dead next to their treadmill.  Hayes was best known for recording the main theme to “Shaft” in 1971, and got a whole new generation to follow him when he became the voice of Chef on “South Park”.  He was also a major figure at Stax Records in Memphis and worked as a DJ at a soul New York radio station.  He was 66.

In addition, actor and comedian Bernie Mac, who starred in Ocean’s 11 and subsequent sequels, plus had a hit primetime TV show, died Saturday at age 50 due to complications from pneumonia.  A wise-cracking comic, he was recognized as one of the best black comedians of his time and was compared to Cedric the Entertainer and Chris Rock.

They will both truly be missed.

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And Now, a Special Message From Amy Winehouse

Posted by thelanetrain on July 24, 2008

‘Ello fuckers.  I’m Amy Winehouse.

Speakin’ o’ which, that’s ain’t me up in that pic up there.  I gots me a wax person made o’ meself recentsly.  It’s pretty accurate, doncha agree?  I mean, I’m skinnier’n that but damn, they mades me look good.  I can’t wait til Blakesy is out of the lockup so he can see myself at Tussauds.  They real gots all the details down pat, even that tattoo on me arm.  Looks jest like me, doesn’t it?  I thinks they shoulda put more bags o’ coke on me though.  It’s not really me.

Anyway, I’ve been hangin’ low latesly.  With my emphysema an’ all.  I pufohmed still fo’ some bloke’s birthday or whatever.  And Blakesy is goin’ back to the lockup.  Fuckkk.  The docs’ been sayin’ that I really needs to get off my blow or crack or somethin’.  I’d’es know fo’ sure whether r not they know that Amy neeeds her white stuff to live.  But I’m glads that I’m finally gettin’ some good news ’bout me with this wax thing.  At least she ain’t eva gonna go to rehab.



(Photograph via Rediff News)

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Less Than 24 Hours Until Total Doomsday

Posted by thelanetrain on July 24, 2008

Alright New Yorkers, listen up.  Whatever you do tomorrow, avoid Rockefeller Center, and avoid it like the plague.  Why?  Oh nothing, it’s just that teen pop sensation and recent troublemaker Miley Cyrus will be hitting The Today Show for a free concert tomorrow.  Yes, you heard me right.  So if you’re a mother, prepare to be woken up at 3am tomorrow morning so you can bring your teenage and tweenage girls out to Manhattan to catch a glimpse of the megastar, all while battling tens of thousands of anxious young fans.

And if you commute through the area, consider changing your route.  Chances are you’re probably not going to make it into work tomorrow if you even think about going within a 4 block radius of the plaza.

(Photograph via The Guardian)

Posted in Music, New York, Television | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Britney Ditches Kids, Leaves Them With Big Poppa

Posted by thelanetrain on July 18, 2008

Just after one ugly custody/divorce battle comes to a close, the latest chapter in the Britney/Kevin clusterfuck-of-a-divorce comes out today.  People reports today that the two entertainers tabloid fixtures have reached a custody agreement after battling it out in the courts for nearly 18 months!  In the agreed settlement, Federline will have sole custody of Sean Preston and Jayden James, while Britney will get to visit them twice a week with one overnight.  Aww, so no more baby carseat adventures?  Actually, this probably works out well for Brit, who has been busy with some people telling her that she has to, like, record a new album.

I had no idea she made music.

(Photograph via ABC News)

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