The Lane Train

News and Pop Culture for the Blog Generation

O Hai, Did Ur Money Die Today?

Posted by thelanetrain on September 15, 2008

 

So unless you’ve been living under a rock, a member of some Mideast Oligarchy, or part of the production staff of SNL, then you probably already know that today might has well been called “Clusterfuck Monday”.  It started off this weekend as Lehman Brothers, one of the world’s leading investment banks and repository of six-figure earning white collar douchebags, failed to find a sucker peer institution to save it from total collapse and instead filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, Bank of America bought Merrill Lynch for a mere $50 billion, and essentially turned precious, precious Lynch stock into worthless sheets of paper.  Even worse, this all comes off the news that Washington Mutual’s stock fell below $2 per share at the end of last week and is seeking a $4.5 billion loan for its reserves, and AIG is scrambling to restructure itself after its stock value was more than halved on Friday. So there’s no way this can get any worse.

Yes it can.

So how much damage was inflicted on the markets today?  The closing bell hasn’t rung yet, but so far, things are shitty.  The Dow dropped over 400 points and already both candidates are pointing fingers.  It’s an all out panic as investors are in a tizzy and volumes of precious stock and mutual funds are slowly turning into worthless piles of financial jargon.

On the flipside, at least the Coen Brothers are happy…

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3 Responses to “O Hai, Did Ur Money Die Today?”

  1. Jacob Ahrens said

    You said that Bank of America’s purchase of Merrill Lynch makes ML shares worthless…you obviously do not know what happens when a public company gets bought so let me explain for you. One buys a public company by purchasing all of its shares, usually at a large premium to their current price, or else the deal wouldn’t be approved by shareholders. If you were holding Merrill Lynch shares when the buyout was announced your shares are worth a lot more now than they were on Friday, quite the opposite of what you described. You should not give commentary on things you do not understand.

  2. thelanetrain said

    Ahh, interesting. So I may have exaggerated when I claimed how the stock would become worthless. Correct me if I’m wrong here, but doesn’t a buyout usually signify that a company’s stock is very weak or about to get even worse? It’s also weird how after the buyout yesterday, their stock went down by $4 a share. There was a small rebound today, but it doesn’t look good for ML.

    At least gimme credit for the other omens…

  3. Jacob Ahrens said

    The only thing a buyout signifies is that the buyer wants to own the company it is buying. If they thought the stock was bound to go lower, ie the business get worse, they would not buy the company. Would you buy a house if you thought it was going to be worth less in a year? No…you’d buy if you thought it was undervalued at its current price and would probably go up.

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