The Lane Train

News and Pop Culture for the Blog Generation

Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category

Press Coverage War: Brinkley/Some Dude vs. A Rod in Madonna Minus C-Rod

Posted by thelanetrain on July 9, 2008

Crazy divorces seem to be all the rage in the entertainment world.  This blog has been closely following the Rodriguez divorce, accented with hints of fake Britons and hookers.  However, I’ve been completely ignoring the other crazy divorce that’s been dominating the news, which really shouldn’t be happening.  Both zany episodes should get some amount of equal attention here, but it’s really hard to tell which divorce is more bizarre.  I think it’s time I weighed the issues and found a winner.

After The Jump: The Battle of the Bizarre Headline-Grabbing Divorces

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Posted in Celebrities, New York, Pop Culture, Sex, The Media | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Spitzer’s Swallower In Talks for Reality Show

Posted by thelanetrain on July 8, 2008

Ever since March 12, 2008 (never forget), it seems as if fake celebrity Ashley Dupré has been all over the news and taking over our lives.  But being known as “the chick who brought down the governor in more ways than one” isn’t quite enough for the former call girl turned C-list socialite.  Now she’s reportedly in talks to develop her own reality show and become the next Tila Tequila.

According to E!, Dupré has been in talks with MTV for an “unscripted show”.  While her rep (Really?  Even she has one now?) said that currently Ms. Dupré has no TV deal, one close source reported that she is considering a dating-style show.  All this after dropping her suit against Girls Gone Wild for wrongfully showing her young, minor (she was 17 at the time), virginal (ok, I’m not sure about this claim) image on TV to sell soft-core porno tapes!

If she does end up doing the poor man’s version of A Shot at Love (which is impossible, considering MTV just succeeded in getting a guaranteed third season), I’m really excited to see what kind of embarrassing physical challenges she’ll put her suitors through.  Maybe they won’t have to eat gross things like pig vagina and deer rectum, or brand their bodies with stupid tattoos, but if they have to dress up in business suits and wait in fake hotel rooms while she services them and calls each contestant “Client Number 9”, then I’m game.

Or, as I should realistically expect, it could be a total fucking waste of time.

(Photograph via The New York Post)

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Madonna’s Pinch Hitter

Posted by thelanetrain on July 2, 2008

So in case you’ve been under a rock today, the big news in New York is that soon to be divorceé Madonna and New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez have been hooking up…a lot.  According to The New York Post (who else would you expect in this town), A-Rod has been visiting Madonna at her Upper West Side apartment since his wife gave birth to his second child in April.  Also, there have been reports of repeated infidelity in the Rodriguez family as A-Rod has been seen repeatedly with a stripper and Madonna has just started her divorce process with Guy Ritchie.  Oh, and they are both way into Kabbalah.

Reps from both sides are denying any form of a tryst ever occurring between the two, but rumor has it that the doormen of Madonna’s building have been buzzing about it nonstop.  Is Madonna going to third with the third basemen?  Is there a squeeze play we don’t know about?  Can she justify his glove?

More great puns and affair titles available at Gawker.

(Image via Gawker)

Posted in Music, New York, Pop Culture, Sex | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Michael Lohan: Father, Criminal, Illegitimate Childbearer

Posted by thelanetrain on July 1, 2008

We all know how crazy the Lohans are.  Dina and Ali have their insipid reality show, Lindsay is (was?) a crazy tabloid fixture, and Michael is the wacko father that ties them all together.  Well it turns out that Michael may also have a secret child.  According to Fox News, Michael Lohan took a DNA test yesterday in reports that he may be the father of a 13 year old girl in Montana named Ashley.  Apparently, Lohan fooled around with a massage therapist (I am not making this up) while going through a separation with Dina, and may have fathered a girl in the process.  Oh you adults, so sex-crazed and desperate for attention.

After The Jump: You decide if there really is a third Lohan daughter

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Posted in Odd News, Pop Culture, Sex | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

NBC, Family of Child Predator Take a Seat, Settle Lawsuit

Posted by thelanetrain on June 26, 2008

If we had to think of three things that are incredibly embarassing, they would be wearing a speedo, this, and appearing as a “guest” on To Catch a Predator.  One guy who appeared on the show was so overtaken with grief and humiliation that he actually killed himself before the cops could arrest him.  Then, his family sued NBC for making him break down and do it.  Well today, that lawsuit finally got settled, and although the plaintiffs were hoping to gain over $100 million in damages, an NBC rep reported that, “The matter has been amicably resolved to the satisfaction of both parties,” or whatever we’re supposed to gain from that.

After The Jump: The story in detail (Warning: Serious Article Ahead)(NSFW)

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Posted in Odd News, Sex, Television | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Verne Troyer Makes a Sex Tape, Simultaneously Causes Everyone to Gouge Their Own Eyes Out

Posted by thelanetrain on June 25, 2008

This has got to be one of the most awful things ever leaked to the public.  Defamer reported today that a sex-tape featuring Verne Troyer (who will forever be remembered as “Mini-Me” (above)) and his live-in girlfriend at the time.  No offense to Troyer, but please, nobody wants to see you in a sex tape.  Everyone just wants to know you as the adorable little midget who bites Mike Myers’ balls in The Spy Who Shagged Me.

But that isn’t the only news for the occasional actor and former reality star.  TMZ reports that Kevin Blatt (the artistic genius who brought you One Night in Paris) has acquired the tape and is looking to sell it to a distributor for $100,000.  A hundred Gs for amateur midget porn?  Either inflation is rising or our tastes are hitting rock bottom.  Either way, its downright disgusting and uncalled for.

Just please don’t star in any pornos with this guy.  Please.

Posted in Odd News, Pop Culture, Sex, The Internet | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Well This Explains A Lot

Posted by thelanetrain on June 25, 2008

Two weeks ago we reported on how New Yorkers are essentially crawling with STDs.  Well, the front page of amNY might explain how we got so disease-ridden.  According to the article, 40% of New Yorkers with multiple sex partners (which is 11% of the city population) didn’t use a condom the last time they had sex (of course, they only sampled like 0.1% of the population, but whatevs).  So basically, that cute girl at the bar probably has the herp, but we’re probably not gonna slip on a magnum anyway before the night ends.  Hmmmm.

It sorta makes this career sound very safe and attractive.  Then again…

Posted in New York, Odd News, Sex | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

JC Penney “Pissed” at Leak of Teen-Sex-Themed Ad

Posted by thelanetrain on June 24, 2008

Yesterday, Gawker posted a video showing an advertisement from not-quite-Macys department store giant JC Penney. In the ad, two teenagers time themselves on how quickly they can dress and re-dress themselves. The scene ends with the boy going to the girl’s house (with her mother at home), and the girl saying how she and the boy are going downstairs to watch TV. The best part? The tagline reads “Today’s The Day To Get Away With It.” Was this for real?

After The Jump: JC Penney responds to the racy advert, plus a link to the commercial!

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Seventeen Pregnant Girls…At The Same High School…Yup, It’s a Coincidence

Posted by thelanetrain on June 24, 2008

Rumors spread last week following a story that seventeen high school girls from Gloucester, MA (mostly sophomores!) made a pact to get pregnant. Well, now one of the seventeen went on Good Morning America and said the whole thing was a coincidence and that they were just unlucky. Right…. It just so happens that there are seventeen Junos running around in the same high school and we’re expected to believe this wasn’t on purpose?

After The Jump: What’s really going on here…

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She Done Did Push Out Her Baby!

Posted by thelanetrain on June 19, 2008

But Not Yet a Woman

Earlier today we reported on the to-be birth of Jamie-Lynn Spears’ daughter. Normally, we would do an update, but we thought this deserved its own post.  She’s not yet a woman, but for now, she’s a bona-fide mom.

According to Gawker, GED-wielding Jamie-Lynn gave birth to her daughter Maddie Briann (dammit, we were rooting for Cailynn!) in Mississippi this morning. Among those present? Her mother Lynne, big sis Brit, and fiancé Casey (who is a professional pipe layer…say it with me kids, a PROFESSIONAL PIPE LAYER). Popsugar has some wonderful pics of the pregnant teen and the baby-daddy getting ready to go to the hospital, while Us Weekly gives us more information than we wanted to know.

Congratulations to the newest member of the Spears lineage, and remember, you too can become a knocked up teen or a colossal train wreck someday!

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