The Lane Train

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Archive for the ‘Vices’ Category

And While We’re On The Subject, Here’s The Trailer For The Hills: Season 4

Posted by thelanetrain on July 22, 2008

I couldn’t help but post this after seeing it first on MTV, then again all over the internets.  It looks like a real-life movie!  With scripts!  Sometimes it’s hard to realize that these people are real people, and not actors.  Oh wait…

But from what I could tell, this season has (predictably) so much drama!  Brody Jenner (he’s not a real person anymore) goes to jail!  A love interest for Whitney! Heidi and Spencer bitch and fight at restaurants! Audrina and Justin Bobby have drama! Lo (who?) shakes things up!

Best part: Watch for LC’s incredibly well timed mascara-infused tears at 1:47.

This is the definition of ridiculousness.

[If the video isn’t working, click here to watch]

(via MTV)

UPDATE 7/23: Another great moment I just noticed: at 1:27, where LC belts out the oh so tired cliché, “This is the part where we need to make an effort,” and puts her hands up in her hair.  Seriously, they could not have hired better people to write the show.

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Posted in Pop Culture, Television, The Internet, Vices | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Fun Fact: People In The South are Fat

Posted by thelanetrain on July 18, 2008

This week, the CDC released its annual report of states’ obesity rates, and guess what: Southern people are really really fat.  According to Newsday (one of the many media outlets publishing the reports), 28 U.S. States reported obesity rates between 25-29% in adults ages 18 and older, and three states: Alabama, Tennessee, and Mississippi, reported rates of over 30%.  In fact, Mississippi is the reigning champ of obesity, being the most obese state for three years running!  In Mississippi, one in every three residents is obese.

The least obese states include Colorado, known for its beautiful mountain climate and many outdoorsy activities and leisure options, and Hawaii, where sun-soaked beaches and tropical weather practically force people to be in beach shape year round.  But a handful of New England states: Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Vermont, also appear as the nation’s leanest.  I’m not sure why, but those Northeasterners must be doing something right.

The cause of the South’s massive (no pun intended) obseity problem:  Many residents tend to be rural or black female, two groups that typically experience higher rates of obesity.  Also, the lack of phsyical exerisce options and history, poverty that prevents access to better quality medical care and nutrition, and of course, the famed and fiendish Southern diet which deep fries everything with a side of mac and cheese.

Here’s a tip:  A little more walkin’ and a little less snackin’.  This should at least put them lower in the obese range and maybe in the merely overweight range.  Another tip?  Avoid taking any advice from this Southern Belle who has singlehandedly concocted the worst thing you could possibly eat.

(Photograph via Flak Magazine)

Posted in Food, Pop Culture, Vices | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

Starbucks Has Me All Confused With Cafe Vivanno

Posted by thelanetrain on July 15, 2008

First, they say they’re closing about 600 stores because they’re not performing well.  Fine, that’s totally understandable.  So why are they now going into the protein shake industry?

Today, Starbucks unveiled its new Cafe Vivanno, which, SURPRISE, contains no actual coffee.  Instead, Cafe Vivanno is a line of two (so really, hardly a line) “nourishing blends” that contain fruit and some sort of other healthyish additives.  I think they might have green tea shots, or protein or both.  They come in Orange Mango Banana or Banana Chocolate.  I got a free sample this morning waiting on line for my iced coffee.  They’re not bad, but probably not worth the four and a half dollars that Starbucks will undoubtedbly be charging for it.

Plus I totally got a sneak behind the counter at how they make one.  The barista told me it comes “pre-mixed and ready to make, except for the bananas which are fresh”.  Nice, but what exactly is the pre-mix?  It’s really this, which I like because Naked is known for making 100% juice (and not sugar water), but a closer look at the base reveals that it contains 27g of sugar in an 8 ounce serving.  Combine that with the banana and the fact that NOBODY goes to Starbucks to get an 8 ounce drink, and you’re serving up a “healthy shake” chock full of over 50g of sugar a glass (about 1/5 of your daily recommended value).

Starbucks, you’re in trouble.  Just stick to what you do best: making strong coffee drinks for the white collar workers and frappucinos for moms and college girls.  Thanks.

UPDATE 7/17: The NYC cost of a Vivanno is $3.95, not the $4.50 I predicted above.  Only comes in one size though, so at least you don’t have to fuss around with tall, grande, and venti.

(Image via Business Week)

Posted in Food, The Economy, Vices | Tagged: , , , | 9 Comments »

Best. Headline. Ever.

Posted by thelanetrain on June 23, 2008

Fox News reported this headline today:

God Busted on Cocaine Charges Near Florida Church

Apparently, a man by the name of God Lucky Howard (awesome!) sold cocaine to undercover cops in his neighborhood and was later found with 22 grams of the stuff and scale at his Tampa, Florida home. Plus, he was dealing right by a local church and school. We’d totes make an Amy Winehouse joke right about now, but it’s just not appropriate.

This item, however, apparently happened minutes after Satan donated $100,000 to the Children’s Miracle Network.

Posted in Odd News, Vices | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

Crazy Woman Attacks Jet Blue Flight Attendant, Denied Newport Lights

Posted by thelanetrain on June 20, 2008

Everyone knows that when you fly on a plane, the number one rule is that you’re not allowed to smoke. They have signs posted everywhere: above your seat, in the lavatory, in the safety pamphlet, etc.. But apparently, a passenger on JetBlue couldn’t wait to have her nicotine fix. And she wasn’t gonna let some pansy flight attendant tell her to put her smokes away.

After The Jump: The harrowing booze-fueled details.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in New York, Odd News, Vices | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Wacky Winehouse Watch: Back in the Hospital

Posted by thelanetrain on June 17, 2008

Another item from The New York Times: Singer/Tabloid Staple/Train-Wreck Amy Winehouse was taken to a London hospital yesterday by her dad and publicist after fainting unexpectedly. Apparently, the doctors don’t know what’s wrong with her and have conducted a series of tests over the last two days to help determine the problem. Hmmm…maybe they should have seen something coming after Winehouse showed up two hours late and stumbling at a private gig in Moscow (where she made $2 million!). Or maybe it’s the massive amounts of cocaine. We don’t know. All we know is that she is more and more becoming the Britney Spears of England.

Without the whole getting knocked up thing.

(Photograph via rosasacidas)

Posted in Music, Pop Culture, Vices | Tagged: , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

OTB Saved, Drifters Rejoice

Posted by thelanetrain on June 16, 2008

Last week, in our ode to slick casino ads, we reported that OTB, arguably the seediest chain of anything in New York, was on the verge of shutting down due to Mayor Bloomberg’s orders and the inability to reach a revenue deal with the state government. Now, it appears that OTB has been saved (for now, anyways). The New York Times reported today that a deal finally arose between City and State officials, which now allows OTB to stay open, saving some 1500 jobs and keeping countless shady characters entertained while betting on exacta boxes without having to go to Belmont. In the new deal:

“The city will earn some $4 million from the winning-bets surcharge and $3.25 million more annually as part of a three-year agreement that lets OTB air its races on two city television channels.”

That’s pretty paltry, considering that citywide, OTB generates nearly $1 billion annually, taking in $125 million as profit. I had no idea that a place that smells like drunk deadbeats and Marlboro Lights had so much money pouring into it.

But the best quote of the article had to go to OTB attendee Ed Woods. Woods, a “seafarer” in his late 70’s, told the New York Times that:

“[Losing OTB] would have been tough on us retired people because we have no other place to go.”

Oh really, Mr. Woods? I know a place where lots of retired people go.

Posted in New York, Vices | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Advertisers to New Yorkers: Admit That You Like Gambling (UPDATE)

Posted by thelanetrain on June 12, 2008

Has anyone else noticed the absurd amount of advertisements for casinos and gaming on TV recently? It used to be just for fake-Indian run casinos out in Connecticut, but now more than ever, the full-court press is on for anything gambling-related, from sketchy racetrack-turned-even sketchier slot parlors to MGM’s newest luxury monstrosity. Maybe New Yorkers really like to waste their money on table games and nickel slots, when they’re not paying for six dollar lattes and four dollar gas, but the local media seems to keep chugging along these ads like crazy.

And while we’re on the subject, is this place still even operating? I haven’t heard about anything for it in ages.

UPDATE 6/12: Apparently the ruling authority knows where to draw the line between elegant gambling and something seedy. Unless the state can work out a deal concerning the chain’s revenue distribution between what it earns and how much it should give back in taxes, Mayor Bloomberg has ordered all OTB parlors to shut down after Sunday. Now all the weirdos will have to go here, here, or here, but rest assured, you can ALWAYS find your favorite cast of unsavory, sketchy characters here.

Posted in New York, The Media, Vices | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »