The Lane Train

News and Pop Culture for the Blog Generation

Archive for the ‘Celebrities’ Category

Guess Who Got Married?

Posted by thelanetrain on November 25, 2008

That’s right, kids.  Everyone’s favorite power couple/douchebag collective/braindead idiots Heidi and Spencer got fucking married.  Yup.  All that fighting, drama, catfightting, and bitchery that seems to pervade their forever engagedness on The Hills was for nought.  Accoring to Newsday, the two eloped to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico (Wow, really?  I guess that’s slightly better than getting married at Senor Frogs in Cancun) and tied the knot in a private ultra secret ceremony.  Not even Heidi’s folks were there!  And what’s worse, Spencer even told Heidi, “You complete me”.  See, not even Spencer can write his own wedding vows.

Also, get excited, Hills fans.  NANA PRATT IS THROWING DOWN NEXT WEEK!  OHHHH SHITTTTTTTTT!  Clearly I wish I had more of a source than watching next week’s trailer.

Advertisements

Posted in Celebrities, Pop Culture, Television | Leave a Comment »

Heidi Montag Faces Actual, Like Totally Serious, Consequences

Posted by thelanetrain on November 4, 2008

So it turns out that everyone’s favorite actress and fashion plate Heidi Montag like, totally got her ass handed to her last night on The Hills.  You see, Heidi works worked at a promotions company that was basically her dream job: open up and promote exclusive nightspots in Los Angeles.  Novel.  So last night when she was supposed to be the dutiful event coordinator of the exclusive trashy “new” lounge Fourteen (actually reads “XIV”), she not only brought along her assclown of a fiancé, but proceded to get “totally wasted”.  She downed half a bottle of tequila in full view of her coworkers and went around screaming “Woooo!  I’m like totally wasted!”  But as it turns out, her boss found out about her rampant drinking and quickly canned her.  Poor unemployed Heidi.  Now she’ll have to…be a reality star full-time.  What a shame.

Posted in Celebrities, Pop Culture, Television | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Has The Hills Gone…Downhill?

Posted by thelanetrain on October 24, 2008

It’s still the number one show on MTV, but chances are, you’ve probably been skipping The Hills to watch actual scripted teenage drama.  Yes, there are definite signs that the juggernaut of all reality shows is slowly backsliding like the folks on Celebrity Rehab.  In this post, I’ll try to explain some of the unsettling omens that the fantasy playworld of Lauren, Whitney, Heidi and Audrina may soon cease to exist.

After The Jump: Evaluating The Hills post stardom

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Celebrities, New York, Pop Culture, Television | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

Irksome

Posted by thelanetrain on October 20, 2008

 

Gawker reported today in its gossip roundup that the two were “whisper-fighting” on an Amtrak train to Washington, and while the brawl never escalated into a full-fledged fight, Lindsay was apparently talking smack about VP nominee Sarah Palin and advocating for herself rather than the couple.  The most troubling thing about this item?  The fact that Lindsay has to ride around the nation on a train than, say, in a private chauffered limo.  Ruh-oh…

Posted in Celebrities, Pop Culture | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Friday Roundup

Posted by thelanetrain on October 17, 2008

Oh man, was this week killer or what?  So aside from learning all about some dude named Joe and how he lays pipe (heh heh) at the third presidential debate, there’s been nothing else to focus on, right?  Well, there’s this, but other than that, has anyone else been keeping tabs of anything not economy or election related?  Oh wait, I have.  Even though I haven’t updated in a while (I told you I was going on hiatus!), there’s actually a fair amount of big name news to report…after you click below at least!  I’ll dish on Oliver Stone’s new movie, a possible showdown on SNL, and Madonna’s divorce (for reals, not like that BS from the summer).

After The Jump: The Friday Rundown

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Celebrities, Movies, Pop Culture, Television, The Internet | Leave a Comment »

I Wish I Was Making This Up

Posted by thelanetrain on October 2, 2008

As if VH1 couldn’t milk the Surreal Life-Strange Love-Flavor of Love-I Love New York-Charm School train any more, it turns out that Chance and Real, the two brothers who were contestants on I Love New York (a reality show featuring a contestant from Flavor of Love), are now in a reality show of their own.  Yes, they will be the strapping young bachelors on their very own show called…wait for it…Real Chance of Love.

*BARF*

I seriously wish this was a joke, but it’s not.  VH1 is very excited to roll out this show.  And why wouldn’t they?  Because who doesn’t want to see a bunch of half-naked hoochies running around a Hollywood Hills home drunk off their ass while fighting, swearing, pulling off their clothes during a wrestling match, getting all down and dirty….

Ok, so there are some positive qualities, but I’m sick of the network rehashing the same exact formula for shitty reality shows.  In their press release, VH1 said:

America’s two favorite brothers Real and Chance tried to steal New York’s heart in the VH1’s hit series I Love New York but were both left broken-hearted. Now the Stallionaires are back and ready to find love in their own new 11-episode series. Real and Chance will get their much deserved, and much anticipated chance to find real love as 15 young ladies move into their Stallionaire ranch house and try to capture their hearts.

I’m sorry, but didn’t they just appear on a show to try and win a shitload of money because they weren’t looking for love?  Don’t they just want sweet cold cash instead?

Well, whatever VH1, I’m sure this show will make Flavor of Love will look like Roots, or at least, Oprah.

By the way, this makes me laugh.  We, as viewers, must be fucking retarded.

Posted in Celebrities, Pop Culture, Television | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Clay Aiken Successfully Distracts America From Dying Economy

Posted by thelanetrain on September 23, 2008

Well America, we finally found a way to take our minds off of the second great depression.  In what could be described as the biggest “No shit, sherlock” moment of the year, Clay Aiken, the androgynous bespectacled runner-up from the second season of American Idol is totally gay.  Who knew, right?  Did anyone really not see this coming?  Even after this shocker from waaaay back?  The story, which will be carried by People Magazine (above) has generated a resounding “finally!” from all of the webernets, including fellow gay Perez Hilton, who merely said:

“Welcome to the gayborhood, daddy!”

We’re so proud of you, Clay.  Now if only that other really famous gay celebrity will follow your lead…

Posted in Celebrities, Music, Pop Culture, The Media | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Fuck You, Los Angeles Times

Posted by thelanetrain on September 15, 2008

Guess who’s having the biggest comeback of her career?  That’s right, this person is.  With the paparazzi no longer treating her like a piece of meat, her life in check, and after a stellar appearance at the VMAs, the pop princess will surely reclaim her spot on the A-list as a recording artist.  So why is the LA Times still calling her “troubled” and writing about her like she’s still boozing every night until 3?  No idea.  Hey editors of Soundboard:  you should really watch this.

Posted in Celebrities, Music, Pop Culture | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Viral Video: The Palin/Clinton Sketch

Posted by thelanetrain on September 15, 2008

So Saturday Night Live premiered this weekend with guest host Michael Phelps (he won 8 gold medals at the Beijing Games, remember?).  But that’s not the special guest most people were talking about come Sunday and Monday.  Phelps’ acting chops (best summarized by his inability to memorize lines and proof that he should stick to swimming) were completey upstaged by Tina Fey‘s appearance as VP nominee Sarah Palin in the show’s opening sketch.  In this five minute comedic blockbuster (with Amy Poehler as Hillary), SNL proves that they still have the potential to be really fucking funny.  Too bad the rest of the show was utterly forgettable.

Now if anyone can tell me what a flurge is, that’d be awesome.

Posted in Celebrities, Politics, Pop Culture, Television | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Celebrities are Poor Just Like You!

Posted by thelanetrain on August 30, 2008

Oh man, have you heard about how fucking high gas prices are these days?  Sure, they affect all you poor people out there who can’t drive a car anymore or have traded down their Hummer H2 to a Prius, but like, the mega rich celebrities don’t have to worry because they can totally afford everything right?  Wrong!

In a story reported on Yahoo today, famous person Sean “Diddy” Combs (what does he do nowadays?  Is he a rapper? producer? fashion designer? appearance maker?) complained that since gas prices are too high, he’ll have to, *sigh*, stop using private jet transport and fly on commercial airlines just like the rest of us.  Said Combs:

“I’m actually flying commercial…That’s how high gas prices are. I’m at the gate right now. This is really happening, proof gas prices are too high. Tell whoever the next president is we need to bring gas prices down.”

This is both hilarious and sad, sorta reminds me of the episode of South Park when the boys steal music online, and then the fed show them that thanks to their theft, the artists won’t be able to continue their extravagant lifestyles.  Someone should also tell Diddy that he can, like, choose the next president because he can vote, remember?

And boy, is he going to have a fit when he finds out you can’t get Dom Perignon on American Airlines!

Posted in Celebrities, Music, Odd News, Pop Culture, The Economy | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »