The Lane Train

News and Pop Culture for the Blog Generation

Posts Tagged ‘Idiots’

This Person Will Probably Get Fired

Posted by thelanetrain on September 25, 2008

Just read this:



Posted in Odd News, The Internet, The Media | Tagged: , | Leave a Comment »

WTF #11: Heidi Montag

Posted by thelanetrain on July 1, 2008

(Montag, left, with boytoy fiance Spencer Pratt)

In a world of vapid blonde bimbos, there appears to be one that stands heads and shoulders above the rest.  The insufferable Heidi Montag, the Hills co-star and ex-BFF of protagonist Lauren (who recently was given some credit for her hidden talent: intellectualism).  Montag was recently interviewed by USA Today to discuss…oh let’s be honest.  There is nothing she can actually talk about other than The Hills and its related items.  So in this snippet from AOL News, she talks about the feud between her and Lauren.  For those not in the know, Heidi and Spencer stand accused of spreading rumors of a sex tape of Lauren and her then boyfriend, which so obvs didn’t happen beeteedubs (or did it?), but whatever, it’s enough material for the show’s story editors to work with (yes, I said story editorsDon’t believe me?).

Back to the point:  Heidi actually compared herself to Jesus, as in, “our lord and saviour” Jesus, this guy.  The self-proclaimed “non-denominational Baptist” and also “the most religious person” said this exact quote on comparing herself to God’s son:

“I don’t even want to talk about that. There were rumors about a sex tape, but I had nothing to do with that. God knows the truth in all of this, and at the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters. Jesus was persecuted, and I’m going to get persecuted, ya know? But it doesn’t matter to me.”

Yeah, you’re right.  I mean in a way, you really are the second coming of Christ.  I just thought that our messiah would have a little more substance in life.  I didn’t exactly picture him her going to exclusive clubs every night, getting drunk, and yelling at people from across the room about a feud so childish and stupid, it’s to the point where nobody really cares anymore.  But by all means, if you’re implying that one day you’re going to be nailed to a cross and backstabbed by your BFFs, then there might be some truth to that.

But seriously Heidi, WTF?  I’m really not buying the whole “I’m Jesus” thing.  This guy played up that angle really big and look what happened.  Or a better example is this guy and his consequence.  Now you don’t want that happening to you, do you?

Heidi also told USA Today that she and Spencer are planning to go to Africa to “feed the children and help build things.”  Right…  Just make sure Spencer gets paid well.  This will be a bigger joke than that idiot reporter from the Post.

(Photograph via Babbler)

Posted in Pop Culture, Television, WTF? | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

This Just In: Geraldo Rivera is Kind Of a Dick

Posted by thelanetrain on June 30, 2008

Ok ok, so we know that talkshow host-cum-“news reporter” Geraldo Rivera isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer and does some stupid things on TV, but today’s offense was a little uncalled for.  This past weekend, a young russian supermodel plummeted nine stories to her death in New York in what police are now calling an official suicide.  Of course, every media outlet wanted to have the best footage, but always being the envelope-pusher, Geraldo took his coverage too far by showing her bloodied corpse on national television.  And just to make sure the blind could also share in the TMI coverage, Geraldo described the footage by saying:

“These are the last images of her broken body being lifted off the Manhattan sidewalk, where shocked and sickened witnesses watched her smash onto the concrete.”

Fox News immediately apologized for the airing of the footage, but not before The Huffington Post could skewer the network and its knucklehead host:

“A sustained shot of Korshunova’s face, her face pale in death, clearly visible in profile with what appears to be blood at the side of her mouth — that adds nothing to the story other than a horrific, shocking image to gawk at.”

Agreed.  Can someone please do us all a favor and boot this nutjob off the air for good?  Him and his foul mustache have no place on our prized conservative-slanted, anti-fist jab, crude sexual innuendo-filled network.

(Photograph via Dirt Squirrels)

Posted in New York, Television, The Media | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

WTF #8: People Who Don’t Know How To Comment

Posted by thelanetrain on June 22, 2008

At The Lane Train, we love our precious, few commenters, and we think that everyone should have an opinion and the right to express that opinion.  However, there is a fine line between a dissenting opinion and something completely uncalled for.  In our story on Jamie-Lynn’s impending birth earlier this week, one commenter got seriously miffed.  “Jordan” wrote:

You are such a little hater.
Shit happens. And everyone needs to get over her getting pregnant.
And just because someone is from a small town doesnt mean they talk like a damn hick.
Get over the steriotypes.
You need to get a life and stop digging through hers.
Fuck you.

Aww, isn’t this cute?  You really think you’re making a difference and taking a stand.  How sweet.  Here’s why I don’t really care:

  1. Every comment you make directs traffic to my blog, which is good.  In this weekend alone we have more than quadrupled the amount of visitors we get daily, so everyone is going to see how retarded you sound in this comment.
  2. “Everyone needs to get over her being pregnant”.  In the opinion of this blog, we’re very happy for the birth of Jamie-Lynn’s child, but we believe that the ex-TV star should have been more careful in using contraceptives and birth control so that she wouldn’t have gotten pregnant in the first place.  We do, however, commend Casey Aldridge for sticking with her through this time.
  3. You spelled “stereotypes” wrong
  4. You care enough about the blog to post your opinion.  I win!

In conclusion, comments like these only expose the total naiveness of some internet users who believe that posting hateful, insenstive, and poorly written comments will change the sway of the blog.  Sadly, it won’t.  This blog will continue to stand by its opinion and its work.

However, due to this comment, there will be new rules for future comments, so please see our new Policy page for all comment rules.


Posted in The Internet, WTF? | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Post Reporter Misses Humanitarian Mission to Africa, Parties in Vegas Instead

Posted by thelanetrain on June 16, 2008

Couldn’t resist posting this after seeing it on Gawker. A reporter for Page Six Magazine (the retarded, half-cousin of this) laments about missing her flight to Africa, her reason for wanting to go there, and her backup plan. Words don’t do her justice, so I’ll let her explain:

“I was very excited to go – I was going to help open a school there – but I missed my flight by 10 minutes! I had really wanted to see the country and all the turmoil that is happening over there; it’s so trendy in the news, but I was hoping to see it firsthand. Coincidentally, the minute I missed my plane, my BlackBerry started buzzing off the hook and next thing I knew, I was on my way to a diamond convention at the Venetian Hotel with Russell Simmons. After looking at sparkly things for a day (and discovering that red diamonds are more expensive and rarer than blue ones!), I decided to indulge in some R&R away from it all in Death Valley.”

Wow, did she really just say that?  That’s almost as bad as this.

Posted in Odd News, The Media | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Jersey Representin’ on MTV

Posted by thelanetrain on June 11, 2008

On last night’s episode of “Who Wants Sloppy Seconds with Tila Tequila“, Tila visited the remaining four finalists’ homes and families, to get to know them. Personally, I got very excited when Kristy (who I’m rooting for as the hometown hero) took Tila on a date to the Westchester Skating Academy (I’ve been there!). I could devote a whole post to Kristy, about how she completely embodies the Westchester way of life with the attitude, accent, mannerisms, etc…

BUT, the REAL star of the show was Jay (above), otherwise known as “Jersey” (because he’s from New Jersey, get it?). Notwithstanding the fact that he looks very similar to last season’s winner, Jay took Tila to his parents’ McMansion where they did what else, but play tonsil hockey the whole time at dinner while his father eerily stared at them in joy. And after that, it was everyone in the hot tub (the whole family and stepfamily) for some heavy petting and kissing, because that’s exactly what I do when I bring a girl home: I get her in my hot tub with my parents and expect an orgy. Great first impression.

So needless to say, Jersey was a little taken aback when Tila sent him home (apparently, he wasn’t her type, even after all that PDA in front of the family!). And what do Jersey Boys do when they don’t get what they want? True to the style, Jersey represented by punching some scenery, breaking vases, calling the set a “faggy red house”, and taunting other cast members by shouting “You want a piece of me Bo? I’ll break ya other face! This is how we do it Jersey style! Fuck this shit!” Cut to a confessional where Tila almost convincingly tells us how she doesn’t like her man to be so volatile. Everyone else gets a key, and then there were three.

What’s next for Jersey? Probably this:

Posted in Pop Culture, Television | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »