Surprise! Facebook Gets Kinda Creepy

How pathetic is this: Despite its unquestionable popularity as the gold standard of social networking sites, Facebook has been slowly jumping the shark since the newsfeed revolt of 2006 (which everyone now loves anyway) and that its now overrun with applications, but now there are rumors of *gasp* FAKE PROFILES? Say it ain’t so, Mark Zuckerberg! Not to say we didn’t see this coming, but was it really that unexpected? A new eBay auction posted today finds that you, the ever adamant market researcher and capitalist extradordinare, can buy pre-made, chock-full-o’-friends, fully loaded Facebook profiles so that you can have access to and conduct the ultimate in consumer market research. According to AdRants:

The profiles, created by the same person but reflective of ten different types of people, are said to each have a minimum of 200 friends. Each profile was then actively integrated into the Facebook community through forums, events, networks, groups and all the other spider legs Facebook has to offer.

How awful! For the love of god, I hope none of you have made friends with anyone shady or suspicious, steered clear of friends with names like “Bro McBrostein” and “Toolie McDouchebag”. They could be spies for large powerful corporations!

Like Facebook.

All Your Favorite Blogs…Classified

A post on Gawker today shows Vanity Fair’s totally tricked out version of New York Magazine’s Approval Matrix (otherwise known as where I get my hard-hitting news). Here, the magazine ranks and classifies a whole host of popular blogs (I only hope to be there someday…), giving every little blog its own place in the blogosphere from Slate to Pitchfork to Perez Hilton. A full version of the overwhelming yet awesome matrix can be seen here.

Hold The Phone! (Literally)

It appears that a summer smartphone war is very much on our hands.  Almost 72 hours after Apple announced a new iPhone, Verizon Wireless reported that it will be carrying the new Palm Centro for (brace yourselves) only $99!  That’s like half an iPhone!  It gets better.

According to the article from Channel Web, this budget smartphone is gonna have TONS of great features.  It comes in cobalt blue, features a vivid 320×320 pixel touchscreen, a QWERTY keyboard, weighs just 4.2 ounces, and has full 3G internet capability!  It still doesn’t look nearly as sleek or cool as the iPhone, but at least you don’t have to have AT&T’s shitty coverage.

Now if only Sprint and T-Mobile were somehow able to get their shit together…

WTF #5: The River To River Festival

You know those free July 4th concerts held by River To River? This year, famed indie-alt rockers Sonic Youth are scheduled to perform at Battery Park for the annual show, and even though its free, you still need a ticket to get into the venue. It didn’t help that the fine folks at River to River sent out an email announcing that tickets would be “on sale” less than an hour before the scheduled release time. WTF R2R? Why do you have to be so shady like that? Thanks to your timely reminder, I didn’t get it until after I got back from running around all this noontime and when I finally tried to get tickets at 2:15, they were gone. There’s really no excuse for that, perhaps someone at your marketing board should have sent that email out earlier, like A DAY OR A WEEK AGO.

No word yet on whether River to River will be giving away tickets in part of any other upcoming promotions or alongside its otherwise crappy lineup, but those looking for free Sonic Youth tickets (myself included) are sorely out of luck. Or you could try working a deal with this guy.

NBC Shameless Self-Promotion Week!

In anticipation of this Friday’s release of The Incredible Hulk (the second remake based on the classic TV series, and an apology for Ang Lee’s awful awful remake from five years ago), NBC has been using its full lineup of shows to help promote the upcoming movie (maybe because NBC owns distributor Universal). On Monday’s American Gladiators, gladiator Titan (above) donned green body paint from head to toe in an attempt to look like a real-life version of the Hulk, while audience members were given “HULK SMASH!” fists to pump between events. As if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, Late Night with Conan O’Brien also had a real life comical Hulk that appeared all week and did stupid stuff like break a piccolo while trying to play with the Max Weinberg Seven and re-write jokes for Conan while holding cue cards, then storming through a brick wall. Hahaha, get it? Because the Hulk gets angry and has to storm off! Sheesh. Well, thank god this is only affecting NBC as I’m sure no other networks subtly promote a hidden agenda.

Oh wait…

Tell Your Friends To Read My Blog

So I know this blog is still in its infancy, like a screaming baby bothering the rest of the internet, but if you’re reading this, then tell your friends to read the blog as well!  We need more hits, more comments, and more loyal viewers!  I know this blog is a way for me to be funny and snarky for my own personal benefit, but part of it goes to entertain you, the humble viewer.  Anyway, read the blog, add it to your blogroll, and watch as you and your friends get overloaded on pop culture goodness.  Like Tasti-D, it’s good for you and tastes great!

Advertisers to New Yorkers: Admit That You Like Gambling (UPDATE)

Has anyone else noticed the absurd amount of advertisements for casinos and gaming on TV recently? It used to be just for fake-Indian run casinos out in Connecticut, but now more than ever, the full-court press is on for anything gambling-related, from sketchy racetrack-turned-even sketchier slot parlors to MGM’s newest luxury monstrosity. Maybe New Yorkers really like to waste their money on table games and nickel slots, when they’re not paying for six dollar lattes and four dollar gas, but the local media seems to keep chugging along these ads like crazy.

And while we’re on the subject, is this place still even operating? I haven’t heard about anything for it in ages.

UPDATE 6/12: Apparently the ruling authority knows where to draw the line between elegant gambling and something seedy. Unless the state can work out a deal concerning the chain’s revenue distribution between what it earns and how much it should give back in taxes, Mayor Bloomberg has ordered all OTB parlors to shut down after Sunday. Now all the weirdos will have to go here, here, or here, but rest assured, you can ALWAYS find your favorite cast of unsavory, sketchy characters here.

90’s Pop Stars Find New Life as Hosts of Crappy Game Show

Just when you thought that summer programming couldn’t get any worse, TLC, one of cable’s third fourth tier networks has started promo-ing its newest “star-studded” reality game show The Singing Office.  I mean, c’mon you guys, it’s gonna be totally awesome because one of the N’SYNC guys and one of the Spice Girls are hosting it and they can totally sing and make the show work because they were in super-successful pop bands, right?  We think the tagline “work just got fun again” is so apropos, because everyone will be at work trying to avoid this show.  The initial prospective reviews are mixed, but this website has a list of which business the hosts “ambush”, including teachers at this tony New York City private school.  TLC has only plastered ads for this potential disaster/juggernaut on every single bus in Manhattan, so only time will tell if this show is a hit or a sad, sad, failure.