The Lane Train

News and Pop Culture for the Blog Generation

Omigod, Stop the Presses: Paris Hilton is Sober

Posted by thelanetrain on July 14, 2008

Like seriously guys, this is huge news.  According to E!, celebutard and former jailbird Paris Hilton has like, not been drinking.  WTF?  According to the “inside source” who like, totally hangs out with Paris wherever she goes like to clubs, clubs, and more clubs:

“She’s not drinking. It’s the first time I’ve never seen her do that.”

Wow, really?  That’s kinda sad.  E! is speculating that Paris is either cleaning up her act to spend more time with her fiance Joel Madden Benji Madden, or maybe she’s pregnant.  I think she’s just trying to get her name back in the press since nobody cares about her anymore.  Either way, this is like totally serious guys.  Without Paris constantly getting drunk and partying, what will our society come to?

UPDATE 7/15: Apparently, I can’t tell which celebutard/slut is dating which Good Charlotte bandmember, because they either all look alike, or I cant tell the difference, or maybe a little of both.  This is probably a good thing for me but bad if I’m dishing news to readers.  Thanks to al for pointing out my faux-pas.


One Response to “Omigod, Stop the Presses: Paris Hilton is Sober”

  1. al said

    Paris is with Benji..
    Nicole is with Joel

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