Viral Video: UCLA Kids Spoof The Hills

Found this today on B-Side Blog. There have been a lot of spoofs of The Hills, but the one on this website today was actually good. Very good. Anyone who watches this show will definitely laugh, and even if you don’t, you’ll probably laugh anyway.

Also, in case you haven’t noticed yet, this blog has a new look. Let us know what you think!

And now, the video:

We Got Featured On Our Own Site!

Today the very kind folks at WordPress have chosen us as the featured blog on the “Blogs about New York” page!  It’s been less than two weeks since we’ve really started blogging here, and already we’re moving up, up, up!

Link: http://wordpress.com/tag/new-york/

Rural France Discovers What L.A. Residents Have Been Doing For Years

It seems that you can’t even go to the ends of the Earth to get rid of fame and celebrity. The media circus has followed Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to the small town of Correns, France. Then, Correns was a small village nestled in Provence, with plenty of wine and organic crops. Now, almost overnight, it has become a paparazzi hotspot as the aforementioned couple have recently moved to a villa there. Cross this village right off of your “quiet escapes” list.

But, the residents are taking back the town. According to Reuters via Yahoo News, the townsfolk are wildly profiting off of the new influx of photogs. Hotels and restaurants in the area are experiencing a surge in business. And while some of the local residents are complaining about the unwanted media attention, some locals are being enticed by this golden offer:

“You will be treated to a free glass of pastis if you can get a particularly silly story published,” mischievous residents said, declining to be named.

Aww sweet! So it’s like everyone in Correns is going to act as if they work for Star, or Us Weekly, or even Page Six! Maybe one of the local townsfolk could even get Julia Allison’s old job, or someone will start selling Star Maps. We’ll keep you posted when Le Journal des Célébrités du Correns is published.

Katie Holmes to Appear on Broadway, Leave the Cruise Compound Without Tom

Hollywood Today reports that Tom Cruise’s love-slave Katie Holmes will be starring on Broadway this fall in the revival of Arthur Miller’s All My Sons.  The play, which will run from September 18 through January 11, will also star John Lithgow and Patrick Stewart.  Holmes will be starring as the daughter of Lithgow’s character’s business partner.  Moreover, E! reports that just being able to see all that star power will cost you anywhere from $116 for regular non-holiday seats, to $350 primo seats during the Christmas season!  So yes, you’re not getting tickets.  Cry me a river.

Anyway, we’re just surprised that Tom would allow his wife to be part of anything that didn’t have to do with Xenu, Scientology, or drugging our children, let alone, leave the house on her own.  Regardless, we’re pretty sure that if Tom doesn’t move out to New York to support Katie during her Broadway stint, he’ll secretly install one of these in her apartment anyways, you know, just to be safe.

WTF #7: Starbucks Iced Caramel Macchiato

The way my day typically works is that after I hop off the subway, I head over to Starbucks and pick up something caffeinated and the paper (so I can do the crossword and get some leads for the blog). Today I decided to switch things up and instead of getting my usual, I decided to try the Iced Caramel Macchiato. When served hot, it’s pretty tasty. Cold, however, is an entirely different story.

Notwithstanding the fact that I had to wait forever, I actually got to see the baristas making me the sickeningly sweet concoction. They start with a base of vanilla syrup. They opened up a new bottle to make mine, but when the barista started pouring it into my cup, the following exchange occurred:

BARISTA #1: Whoa! That’s WAAAY too much syrup! Are you sure that’s ok?

BARISTA #2: Yeah, because they’re not gonna know, and if they complain, whatever.

To complete the recipe, they fill the whole cup up with milk, dump in a huge scoop of ice, then dump in two very tiny shots of espresso, followed by a generous serving of caramel sauce. It is horrifically sweet, not very caffeinated, and I’m still sleepy. Plus they charge like four bucks for this shit. What the hell is wrong with them? Can I please get some coffee with my cup of milk-sugar?

Needless to say, I’ll never order an iced macchiato again. In fact, I’d much rather have this instead.

Madonna Makes a Movie, Excuse to Keep Thinking She’s Artistic

Everyone’s favorite singer SLASH Kabbalist SLASH fake Briton Madonna has a lot to hope for tonight.  Actually, not really, but she might (more like will not though) want to show an iota of concern and consideration for the American premiere of her very first movie.  That’s right folks, taking a cue from her husband, Madonna has actually been permitted to direct a full-length feature film.  Wow.

The movie, which will open the Provincetown International Film Festival (which is NOT a Gay and Lesbian film festival, surprise!) is called Filth and Wisdom.  According to The New York Times, it centers around three young people who share a house together in London (MTV did this with more people, and it was called The Real World Season 4).  The burning question is: Can an actress who was in a couple really good movies and one huge bomb (with a husband who has made only one great film) make the successful leap from in front of the camera to behind it?  Well, no.

Reviews, not surprisingly, have been mixed.  Imdb gives this comedy (Really?  It’s a comedy?) a 5.5 out of 10 rating.  And while The Times of London thought it was decent, The Guardian on the other hand…well, let’s hear what reviewer Peter Bradshaw had to say:

“Madonna has been a terrible actor in many, many films and now – fiercely aspirational as ever – she has graduated to being a terrible director. She has made a movie so incredibly bad that Berlin festivalgoers were staggering around yesterday in a state of clinical shock, deathly pale and mewing like maltreated kittens.”

Ouch, those are harsh words for Madge, especially because she has enough money to practically own you and your loved ones.  But then again, she’s most likely spending it on Kabbalah Water, so don’t worry.  Anyway, expect this movie to bomb when it hits mainstream U.S. theatres, but at least this is the only problem that Madonna has to worry about for now.

Not really…

College-Bound Douchebag Brags on The Today Show

This morning on The Today Show, Matt Lauer and Meredith Viera interviewed seventeen year-old Lukasz Zyblut (right after a heart wrenching piece on Ed McMahon), a “whiz kid” from Brooklyn who, for lack of better words, owned the college admission process. Among the top schools he got into? NYU, Georgetown, Columbia, Penn, Princeton, Yale, Cornell, and Dartmouth. AND HE TURNED THEM ALL DOWN! Why? He got into Hahvahd, why else would he play with the other admissions departments’ heartstrings. When asked by Matt why he decided on the Crimson, he replied:

“It’s Harvard after all, you can’t turn that down, and I feel sorry for all of the other great institutions for not ending up there.”

Spoken like a true Ivy League gentlemen: Intelligent sounding and such a wonderfully backhanded compliment! I wish I got to go on Today for being smart…and a douchebag, but I guess since Lukasz is a first generation Polish immigrant who barely knew English and know speaks it fluently, it sorta helps him land a daytime gig. Plus, he’s going to be owned by a bunch of blueblooded wasps at Harvard anyway, so I guess he’ll really find out what America is all about. And we totes found his MySpace to boot! Sort of comes off a little different there (although we’re not sure its him).

Brittany Gets the Boot

Last night on Get In Tila Tequila’s Panties, Tila took the remaining three contestants to the most romantic spot she could think of: Cancun. Because nothing says “I Love You” like glitzy hotels, alcohol-fueled college kids, and Montezuma’s Revenge, right? And of course, Tila made the trip extra romantic for all of them, with activities like jet skiing across the crystal blue waters, riding horses along the beach, and…blowing up condoms using only the contestants’ pelvic thrust. Awww….

So when Brittany was called the “sexiest” condom inflater, one would think that would giver her an edge, right? Wrong. She stupidly chose to have her one-on-one date second, letting Kristy, a big blonde (Tila really has a thing for big blond ladies) get the very last date with her for the trip. Bo, the Alpha male with the cracked jaw, was complaining the whole time about not having enough time with Tila, not being able to jetski, blah blah blah nobody really cares.

However, after it was all said and done, after every contestant got to spend the night pretending to have sex with Tila, and having the awkward breakfast the next morning, the crew arrived back in Los Angeles where Tila chose Bo (because let’s be honest: wouldn’t the finale be so boring if Tila had two girls at the end of the show?) and Kristy, leaving doe-eyed Brittany in tears. Said Ms. Tequila, “I just don’t see a romantic connection with you.” Hmmm, that certainly wasn’t the case when about 48 hours earlier, you two were skipping hand in hand to have some private time behind closed doors. Very strange indeed…

But the worst part of the episode? Finding out that we now have to wait TWO FUCKING WEEKS until the thrilling conclusion and we have to sit through a crappy clip show next Tuesday. Well America, as I’ve said before, what will Tila pick this time: the beef, or the taco?