The Real World: Brooklyn Continues Shitty “City-Within-a-City” Theme

As announced last month, MTV’s next season of “The Real World” will be taking place in Brooklyn, allowing seven oversexed alcoholic twenty-somethings to romp around Williamsburg and beyond. In a press release from MTV, co-creator Jon Murray said, about choosing Brooklyn:

“The Brooklyn season, like the Hollywood season, will focus on what people loved about ‘The Real World’ when it launched in 1992 – genuine people, meaningful conflict and powerful stories…We’re thrilled that MTV is allowing ‘The Real World’ turn 21!”

Genuine people? Meaningful conflict? Stories? Well, I guess that if putting seven gorgeous coeds in an oversized tricked-out loft with plenty of booze-fueled fights and catty drama is the network’s definition of real, then yeah, it sounds about right. Maybe MTV should try harder this season and not cast housemates who leave the show early* or get fired for being cocky douchebags. Regardless, we all pretty much know how this is going to play out. As Gawker gives us a day-by-day commentary on each of the seven housemates’ lives, the hot sheltered girl-next-door will freak out as she accidentally steps into Bushwick, the token gay guy will have a relationship with any of the Williamsburg Hipsterati, and the whole gang will find themselves downing brewskis and cocktails nightly at Warsaw or Union Pool (this is before they discover the magic of the L Train, and venture across the East River to the posh Meatpacking District for nights out at Buddha Bar and Lotus). Yup, this is reality.

But the most disappointing thing about this upcoming season is that have the producers really run out of locations to shoot? Is the show so tired and beaten that they have to keep repeating cities? If they’re going to redo LA and NYC (for the third time), here are some other “City-Within-A-City” and new Real World Locations I’d like to see:

• The Real World: Oakland
• The Real World: Detroit
• The Real World: South Side (Chicago)
• The Real World: West Philadelphia
• The Real World: Compton
• The Real World: East St. Louis
• The Real World: Beirut
• The Real World: Camden
• The Real World: Newark

Yup, much better.

*Editors Note: The editor of this blog in no way trivializes this cast member’s addiction and alcoholism, but perhaps thinks that if they suffer from such a severe case of this illness, then going on The Real World, where alcohol is cheap, easy, and accessible, was not in the best interest of this person.

Apple Launches New iPhone, Inflates Steve Jobs’ Ego

Remember last summer when the iPhone came out and people camped out for a week so they could get one first? Remember when it cost nearly $600? Remember when Apple lowered the price after two months and all the original owners complained, so they shut them all up with store credit? Well, nearly a year after the first wave of iPhone-mania, Apple CEO Steve Jobs unveiled a brand new iPhone in San Francisco yesterday. Among its awesome features?

• A 3G based browser that can download porn faster than both the original and its closest competitor
• 6 hours of watching YouTube videos and 5 hours of crappy AT&T talk time on a fully-charged battery
• Loopt, a program that allows you to stalk your friends in real-time
• Comes in “Steve Jobs’ shirt” Black and “All of Apple’s other iProducts” White
• Can be bought on a peasant’s salary for only $199 (for the lower-end model)

The iPhone 2.0 comes out on July 11th, and will be available only in Apple Stores, so do yourself a favor and start camping out now, because god forbid you don’t have one by then, all your friends will laugh at you for being so behind the times.

New Yorkers are Dirty

This article from New York Magazine says that according to the New York City Department of Health, about a quarter of the city’s residents have genital herpes! Yuck! Didn’t we all learn how to use a condom in high school? According to the article, the rate is 7% above the national average, and that the rate is “even higher among women, black people, and gay men”. In other words, it really sucks to be this guy.

American Apparel CEO Likes Female Masturbation, Dislikes Lawsuits

Today I was reading my favorite measure of pop culture and news when I came across an item that an American Apparel employee was suing its CEO Dov Charney because apparently he wanted her to masturbate in front of her. According to TMZ, not only was the masturbation not part of the job requirement, but that he was a monster boss and went nuts on her! Oh no! But if you’re working for a company that literally makes its ads look like soft porn, wouldn’t you have seen this coming?

Apparently, Mr. Charney has had a history of being perverted and acting in a way that makes both male and female employees uncomfortable. A much more reliable source reported back in January that Mr. Charney repeatedly demonstrated lewd behavior, such as attending meetings routinely in his underwear (or less), using sexually explicit language, and “behaving in sexually inappropriate ways”. Furthermore, he has been sued multiple times on cases of sexual harassment and has even invited some of the employees to simulate oral sex in front of them. His defense?

“I manage 7,000 employees in 14 countries… . Could I have done all this where I’m inappropriate all the time? Where I’m running around in my underwear all the time?”

Apparently you found time to piss off some wanna-be models while you pranced around in your underwear like Zoolander. Still, with all of his antics, misbehavior, and creepiness, I firmly believe that this guy is waaay creepier and probably more of a perv. I guess the moral of the story is that when you decide to voluntarily work for a company that blurs the line between porn and retail, you should expect to be treated like a piece of meat. Mr. Charney may be perverted and overly sexual, but shouldn’t you see that coming in? And as you know, it could always be worse.